


The Importance of Being Low-Key

by waketosleep



Category: Green Hornet (2011)
Genre: Arguing, Kato's superhero name, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-30
Updated: 2011-01-30
Packaged: 2017-10-15 05:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/157652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waketosleep/pseuds/waketosleep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kato comes up with a name for himself that Britt thinks is too awesome to actually use.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Importance of Being Low-Key

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, that movie was pretty gay. How about a ficlet in celebration?

"The Black Dragon."

Britt's beer bottle froze halfway to his lips. "What?"

"The Black Dragon," Kato repeated, his voice lazy as he slouched into the armchair. "My superhero name." He raised his eyebrows. "You like it?"

Britt let the hand with the beer fall heavily into his lap. "Man," he complained, "that's a totally awesome name. You can't have a name that awesome."

Kato glared. "Why not?"

Britt waved at him in a totally non-descriptive and unhelpful way. "You're already way cooler than me in like every way. You can't have a cooler name, too. We'll end up being 'The Black Dragon and that dude he drives around with'."

Kato nodded thoughtfully. "That has a nice sound."

Britt gave him the finger. "Anyway, you can't be something as amazing as a dragon. Your amazingness has to stand by itself or the world might explode from too. Much. Amazing. Ness," he added as an afterthought. He was on his fourth or fifth beer. "Maybe you should just be the Man with No Name, like Clint Eastwood in those movies. Actually no, still way too badass."

"I like being a badass."

"You're already a huge badass! You could be a badass if you wore a pink mask and went around with the name Kung Fu Barbie. Like I said, world explosions."

Kato glared even while he was taking a swig of beer. "That is insulting, I would never be a Barbie," he said.

"I'm sorry," said Britt. "I didn't mean to insult you. I'm just trying to illustrate how you should totally go for something like, low-key. Lower-key than The Black Dragon or a cowboy movie reference."

"Whatever," said Kato. "Keep telling me how I am an amazing badass."

Britt sighed, but Kato was always a fan of extortion with threats of violence, so he cleared his throat and called up his mental list.

"Uh, let's see. You can one-inch-punch dudes through windows; you are awesome with nunchuks and other deadly weapons of various kinds; you're basically like Bruce Lee reborn; you manage to make scary facial expressions even with a mask covering half your face. You're like fucking Einstein, you built not only _one_ totally tricked-out Black Beauty but then another three, in a week and a half, just _because_. Even though you totally knocked me into a coma and that was how you had the free time, and that was a dick move, but whatever, I'm over it. Um, you drive like a Hollywood stunt man and that's pretty cool."

Britt started ticking points off on the fingers of his free hand. "Besides being an awesome superhero-slash-villain, you also make amazing coffee and waffles and pastrami sandwiches; you can sing and play the piano; you can draw really well even though you're a huge pervert, not that I really mind. You type like eleven thousand words per minute in English and Chinese; you have really great hair.... Can I stop now?"

Kato thought about it for a second before he nodded.

"Good," said Britt, "because after giving that many compliments in a row to one person, I usually get laid."

He laughed at his own joke for a second and then looked up at Kato again, expecting to at least see him smiling a little.

Kato wasn't smiling. He was just staring at Britt calmly. He took a swig of his beer, never breaking eye contact.

"Oh," said Britt.

 

THE END


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